Monday, March 25

The Havoc


Image Source : here

Rita watched unblinkingly at the shimmering silver disco ball wavering in the air, her throbbing pulse pounding fervently against her clammy skin.  She gasped every now and then as her heart seemed to be sucked in more and more into the mysterious depths of her insides, weighed down by her distraught thoughts. 

The thumping sound of the sturdy glass being knocked against the pedestal on which she rested her arms snapped her back to the present. The rewarding sight of the amber coloured liquid sifting swiftly inside the glass pacified her, for hadn't been for the liquid, she would have swooned right there in the middle of the exhilarated flock of party goers. Not that anyone would have noticed considering the dwindling level of orientation amongst the youngsters gathered there, still the fact that she had not a person to assist her if such a dire situation arose crippled her. 

In a swift irresistible motion of her hands, she had gulped down the drink which eased through her parched sweltering throat. 

Rita huffed in between her conflicting thoughts. When she accidentally tripped onto him that particular wry night while hustling back to her house, not even a fleeting thought had passed through her mind that he would later be an inevitable part of her love life.

The many enticing nights they had huddled together in his bed sprang to her mind and along with that treasured memory, also strolled towards her his promise that he would never ever part her, come hell or high water. He wasn't lying that much she knew, for she alone possessed that gratifying power to pry behind the mystic veil that cloaked his gaze every time he smiled at her. Or so, she always prided. 

But how unexpectedly things had started changing shades! How bizarre had been the turn of events since he started acquainting with that rusty looking guy from the neighbourhood.

With the gusto with which he was advancing with his nefarious motive, she feared that he would be cornered by the law one day or the other and this daunting thought had been haunting her night and day over the past one week.

' Was i wrong in threatening him to go public on his misdeed? But that was just to bring him around, why don't he get it! ' 

She winced in agony as the hurt expression that loomed on his flushed face, when she disclosed to him that she knew about his unlawful deeds, flashed across her mind. He was tranforming into a queer personality, utterly weighed down by insanity day by day and that was something which she couldn't simply sit back and watch happening. 

Nervously, Rita tapped her fingers against the sides of her glass as a gazillion unbridled apprehensions started pestering her one after the other.

'Maybe if i talk to him once again tomorrow morning, scraping back my disconcerting tone, he would pay heed to my words and abstain from his rapacious deals '

The slight movement of a couple heading to the exit hand in hand, chuckling in between sweet whispers, reminded her that she needed to drive back alone. She couldn't afford to binge and that sensible nugget pulled her back from opting to stretch her meandering at the place into the dark. Mustering the strength to pull herself up from her seat, she walked towards her car parked in the dark, the staggering more owing to the turmoil strutting inside her than due to inebriation. 

The moon was shining the brightest, showering a milky blanket over the surroundings. A light refreshing breeze swished past her, on the cue to which she wrapped herself in her arms, pacified by nature's comforting gesture.

An eerie silence reverberated in the deserted parking lot which made her quiver a bit. All at once, as if to prove her worst fears right, a sense of vertigo blinded her which seemed to over haul her more and more in each passing second. Whether it was due to the overpowering drink or due to the hot rush of hormones seeping  into the kinky recesses of her cacophonous brain, she couldn't conjure a reason that harrowing moment. 

For the very next second, she had slumped to the floor as if in a bolt, a groan escaping her throat.

She watched in bewilderment and disbelief as warm gush of blood spurted out from the nape of her neck, as if in a hurry to escape its caged life inside the strangulating vessels that channelled through her body. Rita felt her soul draining out from her body with each beat of her thready pulse. As the tired shutters of her weary eyes started drooping forever, she felt consoling hands hugging her close in between muffled sobs and apologies. 

His hands which grazed her cheeks a final time, instead of the scent she was so familiar with, now reeked of the unpleasant waft of fresh gunpowder.  

                                                       ~~~~~~~~~~

37 comments:

  1. Beautiful gripping fiction. Enjoyed it right from the beginning to the end. Say what,u are not just a great poetess but a great writer too....hope to read a book written by you in the coming days:)

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    1. Hey thanks Bushra for the good words. I like writing stories the most. Sometimes they work, at other times they don't. I am glad that you found this one good :)

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  2. I could see this being made into a dark short film!

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    1. And this would be taken down even before its release :P

      Many thanks for the comment Mixi. Keep writing :)

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  3. lovely. A great attempt i must say :) I love reading thrillers and this one is too hard to stay away from reading it :)

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    1. This wasn't supposed to be a thriller in the first place. I was focussing on the sensitive aspect, but i guess that wasn't projected well as i had expected.

      Anyways, no worries since you read through the story and found it good on the whole :) Many thanks Saurabh. I look forward to your comments :)

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  4. Thriller ! Seems like a hollywood movie. I cud see the visuals on the lines of text. good one !
    http://neoimaginations.blogspot.in/

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  5. Loved it...i was getting bit fed up reading haikus everywhere, this is so much better. Really nail biting.

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  6. Hi Malini,
    Its really good to reach here via my friends' page.
    You have a beautiful page filled with lot of creative posts.
    This post is no doubt a wonderful thriller in nutshel. Good. Keep it up.
    I will come back again to read more. I just joined in for
    further reading.
    I am Here especially to invite you to join us
    at the A to Z April Blog Challenge.
    The links are given below.
    Waiting to hear from you and to joine at a to z
    Have wonderful time of blogging
    .
    Good Wishes
    Keep in touch
    I am
    Phil @ Philipscom
    An ambassador to A to Z Challenge @ Tina's Life is Good
    And My Bio-blog

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    1. I will certainly check out the challenge. Thank you for inviting me over :)

      Many thanks for the visit and for following . I don't know whether its worth it, but keep visiting if you find it so :)

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  7. Quite a gripping one and really liked the new look of your blog.

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  8. That was one super piece of fiction... The description of the ending para was too explicit....Pretty bloody!

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    1. Apologies for the explicit nature Akash. I had included a statutory warning in the end at first. But then, dropped it as i thought nobody would be taking this post seriously in any which way :)

      Thanks for the visit Akash and for the comment :)

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  9. brilliant narration again! why don't you write a longer one? get published!

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    1. Hey thanks Deb. It takes a lot more patience and talent to write a longer one,isn't ? Maybe several years down the lane after i have improved a lot more :)

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  10. Its My first visit to your blog...its gr8 feel after reading your post. its Amazing !!!!

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    1. Thank you Bhupi :) Always great to have a new visitor!

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  11. That was really intense. I am able to appreciate it all the more since now I am trying to learn to write like this and finding it to be a lot of effort.

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    1. Hey thanks TF ! Your attempt is far better than mine i felt :)

      Heard from Leo that your book is really good. Congratulations again !

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  12. I love the way you craft your stories, the way you depict the scenes, they make a vivid picture. I can almost feel it happening in front of my eyes. Another block buster from you Maliny :)

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    1. Hey thank you so much Prasanna ! Coming from you the appreciation means a lot :)

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  13. That was an intense, as someone mentioned it above. Good narration.
    But there's just a bit of problem that I have that you may or may not choose to ignore..

    I think the images your story produces are too vivid..they leave little or no scope for a person's own interpretation. Too many adjectives maybe?

    But I really liked the plot as a whole. :D

    Ciao!
    Soumya Gupta
    http://betwixt-and-beyond.blogspot.in/

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    1. I wrote it just as it came to my mind Soumya. I, as a reader find vague descriptions confusing. I guess i will keep dabbling in this style as long it suits me because i find it my best. Maybe tomorrow i may improve much more and this style might change. I will keep your suggestion in mind.

      Thank you for coming over and for leaving behind your opinion :)

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  14. Wow. That was simply superb.The very first para touched the chord....and this went till the last. Great thriller , Maliny!:)

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    1. Thank you so much Panchali ma'm :)

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  15. That was quite gripping and full of descriptive metaphors. I had to read it a second time to fully follow everything. You have a great way of piquing your readers' interest. Great post, Malini!

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    1. Thank you for the visit and for taking time to leave your opinion. Smiles :)

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  16. You write so well, definitely following you! :)

    Love,
    Krittika

    xx

    http://krittikabarua.blogspot.com

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