Sunday, March 3

At The Bus Stop




Image Source : here

As was his routine for the past few weeks, he waited for her expectantly at his usual position near the bus stop. ' The month of March has always been the most grueling, ' he concluded, as a drop of sweat trickled down his temple. The scorching rays showered by the ever blazing sun, sans mercy, shrouded a needle sharp blanket over the earth. To add to the inconvenience,  a gush of sultry humid breeze would swish its way past the people at regular intervals of time.

 It was the busiest time of the day - the morning hours when people scurried fast in groups for their work. He registered in amusement that the events that unwound around him daily had an unerringly etched out pattern. The restaurant run by Kalaam, the one at the junction, which flocked the most number of customers, would be the first to signal its functioning. The deafening metallic shriek of the rotten shutter made sure that any one in half a kilometer vicinity were notified of the hotel’s availability, the first thing in the morning without fail. He was aware of this fact, for he was always the first customer to savour a share of food from the hotel 

The telephone booth run by the raspy voiced man who reeked of alcohol any time of the day opened next. He despised the tone of  nastiness that outweighed that man’s sarcasm, whenever he called out to him and said, " Why do you keep focussing on this junction Raghu ?. I am sure that you are jinxed. My customers are dropping day after day! " .

Raghu coughed out loud as the smoke which was propelled out from the bus which came to a screeching stop at the bus stop choked his nostrils. 

‘ Where is she ? ‘. He felt a whirlpool of emotions somersaulting inside his head.

She was working as a sales girl at the nearby textile shop. That much he knew for once he happened to overhear that detail while she was talking to her friend. Every time she passed by her, his otherwise numb brain cells seemed to be blossoming by the mere fragrance of her scent. Her voice was mellifluous, sounding young and her speech, deeply enriched with the sweetest of notes. The fact that the wild clutter of her glass bangles soothened his ears much more than the innocent chuckle of a baby intrigued him for he was well past his prime in the ledger of age roll.  He never deserved to fall for a girl that divine as her. Yet, she mattered to him the most, he knew. 

His emotional connect with the girl started blooming one fine day when she offered to lend him a hand seeing him in a meddled scenario. Since that day, without fail, she used to pause at him to share a word with him in her usual enigmatic voice. The emotional chord that connected him to her strengthened as this daily routine of her's started intriguing him. Gradually, before he knew, she was everything to him. An affectionate mother, a playful sister, a loving wife, every worthy relation that he was forced to live without. She opened to him an enchanting world of never ending love to quench his parched life – all with those few words sprinkled with compassion.

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Meantime, a few kilometeres from the town, Sita was worried beyond limits. She checked her watch impatiently. “ I am late ! " Sita thought in utter despair.

 Being late for her job was simply something she couldn’t dare to do  , especially when she was offered a salary hike for her flawless service at the textile shop. The last few weeks had been strange. As if the angel finally decided to cocoon her with all sorts of blessings, luck had been approaching her from every untapped crevice of her life. Having tasted the bitter phase of life Sita never expected much from her life. With an ailing mother to look after, she weaved little dreams for herself. Quite unexpectedly now, with her shop offering her a promotion as the one of the heads of the sales section, her future was turning to be rosier, for once in her otherwise thorny life .  The employee whose position she was taking over, was expelled for being up in news for his nefarious deed of trying to trade his one month old baby for a lump some amount of money.  Hard to believe such monsters even existed, Sita had opined on hearing the news. But then, ‘ Truth is stranger than fiction ‘  isnt ?. She remembered recalling a proverb the next moment that she had learnt way back in her school days. Truth was definitely stranger. Miraculous at times, devastating at other times.

Fifteen minutes later, Sita scampered her way though the crowded bus, the travelers yielding away from their uncomfortable, yet unavoidable embraces, and alighted the bus when it paused at her stop. 
                                                                   
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To know the rest of the story, keep waiting. An improvised, altered version of this story is going to be part of an anthology!

77 comments:

  1. Maliny...Wow, you've beautifully portrayed the chills of reality with rich imaginings!!.. involving and poignant read.:)) You are a master story-teller-- Lovedddd this!
    ATB for BAT..

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    1. your comment is overwhelming Panchali ma'm and i am not sure whether i deserve that . I am humbled and honoured by your words :)

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  2. Hello Maliny dear:)

    Your beautiful and incredibly creative posts have forced me to reward your blog with the 'creative blogger award'...Congratulations:)

    For more visit my post:
    http://stillettomaniac.blogspot.in/2013/03/my-first-blog-awardthe-cba-d.html

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    1. I like it that you were forced to do it ;) Many thanks from the bottom of my heart ! I have already commented on your blog post . Congratulations to you :)

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  3. hi maliny,simply amazing description,rich in every way..

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    1. Hey Asteria , thank you ! I am glad that you liked the narration :)

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  4. I love the way you portray the characters, their inner turmoil and the way you depict the scene. Its like having a mental image along with the narration. ATB for BAT:)

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    1. Your comments are always inspiring prasanna . Thank you so much for the appreciation :)

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  5. Hi Maliny.What a fantastic and fabulous narrative.You are a story teller par excellence!! Enjoyed reading every word of the story.

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    1. Thats so pleasing to hear Usha ma'm . I am honoured when such a comment comes from a writer of your stature :) Thank you !

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  6. A wonderful little vignette of life and written in such an evocative manner that it springs to life in your mind. My only quibble is with the formatting of punctuation, the empty space before the comma, the quotation marks and the full stops. But that's just me :-)

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    1. The formatting was intentional , but since you have pointed that out , i have decided to correct it . Thank you for the criticism :) Welcome to my blog !

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  7. Interesting- superb writing/ sharp editing- must say - though a the first glace yr blog post looked long - its crisp and yet beautifully crafted- loved it.
    All the very best for BATOM

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    1. I am surprised to see you mention the editing part ! I did trim the post at places , editing the lines before i posted it . Nice to see you noticing that . Thank you for the wishes ! I will be over to your entry soon :)

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  8. Another BATOM worthy post Maliny! I especially loved the part where you described the sounds and smells of a city waking up to start its day. An evocative and poignant write that held so many little moments, so many emotions, so many tugs.

    Beautifully written!

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    1. That was generous of you Mixi :) It feels great to be applauded for one's effort . Thankyou !

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  9. So beautifully written! Your descriptions of the scene and the emotions give us a different way to see the realities of life. :-)

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    1. Hey Dana , I am beaming now :)

      Thankyou for the praise ! It means much more than you can imagine :)

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  10. very well written Maliny...you bring alive the characters and poignant read :)
    congratulations for your 'creative blogger award'

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  11. Hi... Have been following your blog for about a year now and I must say this one actually brought the characters to frames !

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    1. A consistent reader is always a precious asset . Thank you Sandeep !

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  12. The realities of life with some intricate details are beautifully articulated.emotions are stirred in skilfully..Profound read..All the best for BAT..

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  13. Superb! you are a wonderful story teller with the feel generated in every word penned. Loved it!! :)

    ATB for BAT!!!

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    1. Hey thanks Akhila ! Welcome to this space . Do drop by more :)

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  14. excellent take. very moving engrossing penning.

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  15. That's wonderful write. Get stumbled by your inimical style. You're a master story-teller with fine narrative skills Kudos!

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    1. That is so generous of your sir . I myself feel that i am not upto the mark . Thank you for making my day, nonetheless with your opinion . I treasure it :)

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  16. Wow! wonderful narration!

    Regards,
    Jahid
    Flashbacks

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    1. Thank you Jahid . Your comment always lightens me up

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  17. Wat a stuff to read late night. Thank you maliny

    http://neoimaginations.blogspot.in/

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    1. Thanks to you Neo for leaving behind good words . :)

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  18. You have brought out man's innermost desire of being acknowledged, even if it is a customary glance...Loved the way you have captured the sounds and voice tones beautifully to illustrate the perspective of a blind man.

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    1. You have briefed the crux of the story and what i felt anout it Reshma . I am touched by your words . Thank you for understanding the story as i meant it to be conveyed .

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  19. For a while I thought its a romantic fiction but at climax you have produced a clinching effect of reality in ecstasy and bliss of pure heart. Heights of awesomeness throughout the post. Enjoyed reading. Tnq for such a beautiful tale of post. ATB for BAT37

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    1. First of all , welcome to this space Vajra . My pleasure to have a new reader on board :)

      You have grasped the story in its true sense and i am glad that i could put it across to you . Thankyou ! Keep visiting :)

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  20. very nice story....i too was thinking that its a romantic one...only at the end i realised hes a blind beggar. very nicely weaved....

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    1. Thank you Nandini . Glad to see you appreciating the effort :)

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  21. Everytime I read your posts, I feel like reading a chapter from a novel. You really have it in you...Lovely narrative!

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    1. That would be one of the most encouraging comments i have ever received . Thankyou so much for the appreciation Arnab !

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  22. I am totally carried away by the narration. You create a moment complete with characters,ambience, emotions, which is masterly. Loved reading it.

    Best of luck!

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  23. I am now officially your fan-cum-follower!!
    Splendid imagination woven with superb words. Pleasure to read your story. Master narrator!!

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    1. Hey Aniruddh , that is so sweet of you ! Thank you for following my blog . I am so happy reading your comment ! :)

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  24. Wow...i was so hooked till the end..
    wonderful narration and wat a story..wow..wonderful

    ATB for BAT

    -Snuffles Jay
    Connect with me

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    1. Thankyou Sherna ;) Feels great to have readers commending the effort :)

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  25. Wow!! absolutely brilliant narration! while reading the first half of the post i was amazed by the way you described the feelings of a man so beautifully and was even more surprised when i read the second part.

    all the best for the contest!

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    1. I never realised the readers could relate so much to the story . Thankyou so much Deb for the wonderful comment :)

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  26. Enjoyed reading it. The way you moved from one scene to another was quite effortless. Beautiful and engrossing narration. :)

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    1. Thankyou so much Saru . A matter for joy hearing that from a writer as mature as you :)

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  27. You bring out the emotions of the characters so well that they become real people and not just characters in fiction. Enjoyed.

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  28. it was artistic writing,scenes was set so beautifully as a painted picture in color

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  29. Very well described and expressed.... :)

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    1. Hey thanks Anu ! Welcome to this space :)

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  30. The story reminded me a little bit of a very old Amol Palekar movie- Choti choti si baat.. wonderful narration.. and was great to read too...

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    1. Never seen that movie . Now that you have mentioned it, i am intrigued to check it out.Thanks a lot Karan for the appreciation . .

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    2. Actually movies like Hitch, Partner etc were all inspired from it.. Amol Palekar used to wait for the girl at the bus stop .. and everyday he would think of the lines he would say to her but never could.. its a romantic super sweet comedy

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    3. Thank you so much for cheering for me Karan :) Havent watched Hitch or Partner . Hitch goes down in my to watch list ! ( You do watch a lot of movies. . Nice :) ). To be frank, i was having second thoughts on publishing this entry for fear that the readers might find the theme awkward. Happy that it ended up well :)

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  31. Very very well written. Congratulations on the award!
    Glad to have stumbled upon your blog. Keep writing!

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    1. Thanks Aarthy ! Always glad to invite a new reader :)

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  32. Hey Maliny. Congratulations on your second consecutive Gold Batom!!!

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    1. Thanks a lot Shrikant for the wish and for cheering for me ! Hope you liked Blog a ton . Keep participating :)

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  33. Hi Maliny Di (allow me to call so)
    I'm first time here. Got the link from BAT. First of all a big congo bongo on your Golden win. :)
    What a marvellous piece you have written. Finally I got the meaning of the phrase. You are truly a master story-teller. I got hooked to each and every word brimming with emotions. It was simply mesmerising. Thanks a ton for finally getting me know what the phrase actually meant. And for making the words speak. I truly love this. :) Kudos!
    Silly Smiles... Take you Miles :)

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    1. Thank you for the shower of good words Surbhi ! I am humbled and honoured at the same time. Thank you for following . Do keep visiting :)

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    1. Thank you TF . Your praise means a lot :)

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  35. Wonderful story with superb description....was surprised with the second part :)

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  36. Wow It is so amazing. Deeply engrossing. Thoughtful and observant descriptions.
    The twist was too unexpected. you take your readers to unknown terrain, and thats the beauty of this piece :)

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