Friday, December 25


                UNbelievable that i am pretty busy nw a days ! i mean with the way the last two months were torturing me ...playing games with me..this is damn relief ! seriously i hav lot to think about these days..see the decision to dedicate my time here in this very world of blogging is a perfect proof  :) :) but i am not sure whether i wll be able to keep up with my daily updates. i dont have a laptop naa :((. guess i will have to feed it in my mob or else facebok is a better option ! :):).. seriously giving it a thought. ..hmm...

                 Alright... coming back to my busy schedule... well i read a lot now a days :) know earlier when  i find myself in a terrible mood ,all gloomy..broody...i used to avoid giving too much time away  concentrating on books. i have no idea how that got into my head that i would end up contemplating more on the ' problem of that hour ' !! i mean i had this wrong idea  that it would worsen my already confused mind ! but somehow or the other it dawned on me that it might work in a positive way. needless to say i was right this time ! :) a big chunk of my day goes in the company of books. and the latest crush around the corner----- JOURNALS !!.. oh i am getting kinda obsessed with the journals ! you know last day i spent almost two hours in the college library going through the OUTLOOK magazines there ! and that too in the middle of the day, with the air hot and my mind tired !. but once i got my hands on the magazines , there ! my acumen was on the rise ! ;). this is turning out to be one helluva passion! :) 

THE WEEK is the best interest so far . they are just easy read ones, with a myriad of details that you never get bored. and the most important thing you can finish them in a matter of one or two hours :). you know i hate books which come with 500 plus pages of sentences, however mysterious or adventerous they promise to be. well impatience is the worst part of me which i have been working on for some time now. but i sort of lost out on my inspiration. so i am back to the restless me who jiggles with my pen the whole time or  with legs swaying almost half the time i am in the wards !

             And now something strikes me interesting ! I have read that pisceans have this weakness so particular of them that they tend to lose themselves on addictions and all those running away from life stuffs when they are met with some misery in their life. yea i sort of feel now that i got addicted books, to penning down my thoughts, to contemplating, to playing badminton every day of the week when i am at hostel, to music,to giving more time to my friends, to rediscovering myself,my pleasures,watching movies back to back,admiring the sky !,loving back people who care for me, being with them, being there for them. I am glad that i got addicted to all the harmless reasons :) I  need to concentrate my heart, divert my mind on some thing which is apt enough to take me out of the shackles ! And i owe it to God for leading me to something good in my life now  ( of course i can put it affirmatively that it would never ever match the happiness i was shown to by someone these months )..may be its because of God that i am succeeding myself to be in a way happy now .
Even  when i was thrown away from the most beautiful, alluring HEAVEN , even when i was dissolving myself in the searing pain of the hell i landed in.. I WOULD NEVER HAVE MADE IT OUT OF THE DITCH I WAS DRAGGED INTO WITHOUT THE KINDNESS OF GOD. 

           Infact with december the hopes are bubbling up in the air :). lots of introspection , trusting on intuitions and instincts , dissecting circumstances , reasoning, grumblings and dissatisfied justifications for them ...these are what working behind the scenes ! but i should say those proved worthy. i am back to the ever spirited, passionate me again. but i cant leave out the truth that i feel incomplete now.. kinda..every time i get done with a job like, writing notes on facebook or finishing a book or laughing my heart out with my friends or even when i am up after a refreshing sleep, there is this pang of pain crawling deep into my mind. yes.. i miss a lot. i feel nothing can make me complete the way this last year saw me. The best days of my life. And even now not a day of me is complete without me checking and rechecking my inbox and the call log ..if at all i had missed out any.  
Life doesnt move the way we plan always right. It would be rather easy if you are ready to accept the fact that there cannot be pompous times always. There need to be dreary times too..may be to teach you, make you realise the value of the small joys life offers you. have the mind to accept each day as it is.

May be , we dont know for sure, but even then may be, every thing happens for a reason. May be every puzzle of life, the mystery behind every game it played on you will fall into place one day. 


             coming back to my hectic life these days ; This last week was awesome :) the whole week day and night we were sweating out ..yea the dance we were working on for the convocation ! and it was after some good 10 months we had been on stage. that should make it all the more exciting right ! turned out that the practice sessions were hilarious ! each of us were enjoying to our best :) and the dance itself was the icing on the cake ! though it was not our ever best performance , considering the time period we were left with for practice it was quite a wonderful one indeed ! that sure helped alleviating my break down a lot !

         Today is christmas..and the last christmas season ( 2008 CHRISTMAS  SEASON ) is going to be the most memorable one ever in my life. i found my dream 'AMIDST BELLS AND CHIMES ' . still remember that orkut profile caption :). i miss those days. and this christmas i am left with no choice but to be happy with me, with the way i have retrieved my mind from the losses , from the wreck. hope this next year brings more to my life even though my it is always going to be in debt.. because it took away the most important piece of me. guess i need to live with it !!


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